My name is Mrs. Taylor, I have gout  I'm really fat! yo, check me out.  My rumpus is overwelmingly large , and not too tiny  My voice is soft, but not my hiney  I'm da man with the masta' ham  Watches are the hands that strangle my neck  The twisted metal of the huge car wreck  I lick my plate till there's not left a speck  I'm sure glad I won't burn in Heck  I'm da man with the masta' ham (oh yeah!)  I'm da man  I'm da man  I'm da man with the masta' ham (oh yeah!)  I'm da man  I'm da man  I'm da man with the masta' ham (oh yeah!)  I have a phobia about watches beeping  I don't care about the classes teaching  I definitely would rather be sleeping  For the Slim Fast I'm always reaching  (music stops)  watches beep several times (BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP)  (music starts)  I'm the man  I'm the man  I'm the man with the masta' ham  (repeat and fade)  Hey! give me some crisco bars!  what about my dessert!  Teaching? Im suppost to teach the classes?  My god! I weight a ton!  Im going to sit on Mr. Love