I’m not a tolerant person.   In fact I get more intolerant by the day   I just find it more and more difficult to tolerate assholes   As my tolerance decreases, their number seem to increase   Everyday there's more and more of them and everyday I have less and less patience   I’m not a mere bigot but I certainly don't cut any slack to anyone on the merit of their...    Status as an oppressed minority   You people were enslaved?   Tough luck   The white man stole your land?   Too fucking bad   Your fair sex is played by date-rape?   Cum and bear it      These days everyone has a sob story, and frankly, I don't care   It’s no excuse for being an asshole   We live in the age of the excuse   We live in the age of the asshole   They’re everywhere   They come in all shapes   All sizes   All colors   There are black assholes   White assholes   Women assholes   Men assholes   Queer assholes   Straight assholes   Smart assholes   Stupid assholes   Suburban assholes   Inner-city assholes   Homeless assholes   Upwardly mobile assholes   Lazy assholes   Incompetent assholes   Sloppy assholes   Anal assholes...   And so it goes...   Ad nauseam   Why should I tolerate any of them?   Why should I tolerate anything I don't care for, for any length of time?   Why should I pretend it's okay?   I don't like assholes   Don’t like talking to them   Don’t like talking about them   Don’t like knowing them   Don’t like knowing about them   Or their thoughts or their deeds   Assholes are like bad ideas.   You let even a single one enter your life; it can begin to ruin things   It can destroy what's good and foster much that's bad   Why'd I tolerate that?   Tolerance was a virtue once   No more   There aren't enough hours in a day to tolerate all the assholes   To tolerate all the indignities rolled your way and still be able to live a decent life...   Perhaps Goethe said this best   "That which disturbs your soul you must not suffer"   Remember that when it seems like assholes are hard at work to disturb your soul   24 hours a day   Take a tip from Mr. Intolerance: don't permit them to do it"