Hey-Hi, Hey-Hi-Ho, the best man in Ottawa was Mufferaw Joe,    Mufferaw Joe      Big Joe Mufferaw paddled into Mattawa    all the way from Ottawa in just one day   Hey-Hey   On the river Ottawa the best man we ever saw    was Big Joe Mufferaw the old folks say   Come and listen and I'll tell you what the old folks say      And they say Big Joe had an old pet frog    bigger than a horse and he barked like a dog   And the only thing quicker than a train upon a track    was Big Joe riding on the bull-frog's back      Hey-Hi, Hey-Hi-Ho, the best man in Ottawa was Mufferaw Joe,    Mufferaw Joe      And they say Big Joe used to get real wet   from cutting down timber and working up a sweat   And everyone will tell you around Carlton Place    the Mississipi dripped onto Big Joe's face      Hey-Hi, Hey-Hi-Ho, the best man in Ottawa was Mufferaw Joe,    Mufferaw Joe      Now Joe had the portage from the Gattineau down   to see a little girl he had in Kempville town   He was back and forth so many times to see that gal   the path he wore became the Rideau Canal      Hey-Hi, Hey-Hi-Ho, the best man in Ottawa was Mufferaw Joe,    Mufferaw Joe      Big Joe Mufferaw paddled into Mattawa    all the way from Ottawa in just one day   Hey-Hey   On the river Ottawa the best man we ever saw    was Big Joe Mufferaw the old folks say   Come and listen and I'll tell you what the old folks say      And they say Big Joe put out a forest fire,   halfway between Renfrew and old Arnprior   He was fifty miles away down around Smith Falls   but he drowneded out the fire with five spit balls      Hey-Hi, Hey-Hi-Ho, the best man in Ottawa was Mufferaw Joe,    Mufferaw Joe      Well he jumped into the Calabogie Lake real fast    and he swam both ways to catch a cross-eyed-bass   But he threw it on the ground and said "I can't eat that"   So he covered it over with Mount Saint Patt      Hey-Hi, Hey-Hi-Ho, the best man in Ottawa was Mufferaw Joe,    Mufferaw Joe      And they say Big Joe drank a bucket of gin   And he beat the living tar of the twenty nine men   And high on the ceiling of the Pembroke Pub    There is twenty-nine boot marks and they are signed with love      Hey-Hi, Hey-Hi-Ho, the best man in Ottawa was Mufferaw Joe,    Mufferaw Joe      Big Joe Mufferaw paddled into Mattawa    all the way from Ottawa in just one day   Hey-Hey   On the river Ottawa the best man we ever saw    was Big Joe Mufferaw the old folks say   Come and listen and I'll tell you what the old folks say      They say Hey-Hi, Hey-Hi-Ho, the best man in Ottawa was Mufferaw Joe,    Mufferaw Joe      Big Joe Mufferaw, Big Joe Mufferaw, Big Joe Mufferaw, Big Joe Mufferaw,   Big Joe Mufferaw, Big Joe Mufferaw, Big Joe Mufferaw, Big Joe Mufferaw,   Big Joe Mufferaw