I woke up and had a drink   Had another and it made me think   It seems to me that there used to be   A lot more friendly little bars in this town      A place where they knew you    And you knew them   Where drinks were cheap    And men were men      You don't have to go home but you can't stay here   Its 2 AM and you're drunk full of beer   We love you but you have to go   So what I want to know is where are all the old man bars?      Every night there'd be a fight   And then we'd drink until we couldn't talk   But talk is cheap and so am I   I'm happy when the shots all cost a buck      You don't have to go home but you can't stay here   Its 2 AM and you're drunk full of beer   We love you but you have to go   So what I want to know is where are all the old man bars?      The breakfast of champs   The hair of the dog   The slap of the chimp   The splash of the log      Now the bars are all so cool   Full of yuppies with tattoos and pierced tools   A round of drinks will leave you broke   You even have to go outside to have a smoke      The pool table's a planter   The jukebox sucks   There ain't no pinball   The doorman's a jock      You don't have to go home but you can't stay here   Its 2 AM and you're drunk full of beer   We love you but you have to go   So what I want to know is where are all the old man bars?