if you grew up with white boys   who only look at black and puerto rican porno   cause they want something that their dad don't got   then you know where you're at      mortaring your earholes shut in a rush with wet coke   in a starbucks bathroom with the door closed   on booze, i'm left in residue and confused   like the first time you used soft water   down on my luck, caught unaware   like houdini when the last fist struck      if i'm sinking in laughing at something sunken in, i am       sucking dick for drink tickets   at the free bar at my cousin's bat mitzvah   cutting the punch line and it ain't no joke   devoid of all hope circus mirrors and pot smoke   picking fights on dyke night   with shirlies at loc's and snatching purses      doing elton at karaoke and forgetting all the verses   blowing kisses to disinterested bitches   playing lead lay in a bad way on broadway   sending sexy smses to my exes new man cause i can   on the road trying to break an old van   eating pussy for new fans, i am what the hell   using purell till my hands bleed and swell   missing mel at a motel 6, i'm unwell      if i'm sinking in laughing at something sunken in, i am      it feels exciting touching your handwriting   getting horny by reading it and repeating poor me   intently staring at the picture of your feet on the sticker   at the r. crumb exhibit, i wonder who's sicker      jerking off in an art museum john till my dick hurts   the kind of shit i won't admit to my head shrinker   not even in a whisper to my own little sister   i just act like a dick and talk shit when i'm with her      aught six i'll say the friday before easter   was not good i cried to myself in the pisser   and with you in the front row at the silver jews show   and you act like you didn't notice, my fear of the bear   at showbiz pizza when i was six was overwhelming and not dissimilar to this      if i'm sinking in laughting at something sunken in, i am      at jacob hand's on tour i wake up   hung over on a hardwood floor   from a dream about how your dress   hangs off of your little breasts   i'd rather be dead than call this song   how i lost your respect but god bless or get neglected   and i'll see you when the sun sets east, don't forget me