* sung to the same tune as Soul Asylum's "Runaway Train" *  Shean's a cheese and he hits on ugly girls  He thinks that he's the best drinker in the world  But Dan knows that he can drink Shean under the table  Because he's here - he's ready, willing and he's able  Why was Shean in the bathroom for an hour?  Could it be he's doing laundry in the shower?  Can't pay for cigarettes or even for his rent  He doesn't have it but it already is spent  You lazy, stinking, fucking slob  Get off your ass and get a job  Maybe then we wouldn't have to see you here...  (chorus:)  Runaway Shean - never come back  Run away to that house that sells crack  Get your fucking ass out of my house  I'd rather live with a cockroach or a mouse  Shean comes home real drunk and he wishes  That tiny elves have cleaned up all the dishes  He's on a diet of spaghetti and baked beans  His smelly feet can make your face turn green  What are all these empty cans doing right here?  Oh, I forgot... it's Shean's admission to "Free Beer"  He'll get real drunk tonight and then what will he do?  Probably start a fight with Pi Alpha Nu  If you come home and break a glass  Brett's gonna kick you in your ass  Why don't you just pass out on the couch?  (and then we'll sign you out)  * repeat chorus *  Shean gets dissed by girls like thirty times a week  Sometimes he gets so mad he hardly even speaks  But that's alright with me - you know I'm not complaining  It just means more air time for me that I am gaining...  * repeat chorus 2x and fade out *  DEDICATED TO THE CREW AT 244 ONTARIO STREET -  THE SUMMER OF '93... ALBANY, NEW YORK.....  .. THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES!