Walter and me, we've been courtin' for years  But he's never asked me to wed  When Leap Year comes round I give three hearty cheers  Hip-hip-hooray, hip-hip-hooray, hip-hip-hooray  As I do the askin' instead  I don't want to die an old maid  So I sing him this serenade:  Walter-er, Walter, lead me to the altar  I'll make a better man of you  Walter, Walter, buy the bricks and mortar  And we'll build a love nest for two  My bottom drawer's all packed and ready  My bridal gown's as good as new  Walter, Walter, lead me to the altar  And make all me nightmares come true  Walter, Walter, lead me to the altar  I don't cost much to keep in food  Walter-er, Walter, mother says you oughta  So take me while she's in the mood  You know I'm very fond of chickens  We'll raise a lovely little brood  Walter, Walter, lead me to the altar  And I'll show you where I'm tattooed  Walter, Walter, lead me to the altar  Don't say I've met me Waterloo  Walter, Walter, tears are tasting salter  And I've lost me handkerchief too  Don't muck the goods about no longer  My old age pension's nearly due  Walter, Walter, lead me to the altar  It's either the workhouse or you...  Oh dear, it is an all, it is an all  I'm gettin' older every day