I'm normal yes I'm normal   Normal as anybody can be   I'm normal yes I'm normal   There's no one as normal as me      Well I've had my share of orgys   Young marrieds and gay swingers   Had too many weirdos   Wet nurses and girl singers   Seen me enough blue movies   To last me a lifetime through   And I'm getting pretty desperate   For something new to do      So I'm throwing out my rubber sheets and kinky knee high boots   Going back to holding hands   That's where I got my roots   Throwin' out my dildos and porno magazines   Goin' back to wholesome sex just like it's in my teens      I'm normal yes I'm normal   Normal as anybody can be   I'm normal yes I'm normal   There's no one as normal as me      No one ever just says 'hi'   Or talk about the weather   They all ask me if I'm bi   And into whips 'n leather   There's just too many massage girls   Doin' it for free   And I get that funny feeling   Someone's usin' me   So I'm throwin' out my Spanish Fly   All that Vitamin E   Swallowed enough stupid pills to start a factory   Yes I'm givin' it all up I'm going back to zero   Getting just too tired of being a pornographic hero      I'm normal yes I'm normal   Normal as anybody can be   I'm normal yes I'm normal   There's no one as normal as me