Why don't you swallow a handful of someone else's pills?   It will solve all of my problems and cure all your ills      Take the little red capsules . . . that relieve your tension   Take the little white tablets . . . that prevent conception   Take the little black beauties . . . sure to make you thin   And wash 'em all down with a bottle of gin!      Cross my heart and hope to die   I'll lay pennies on your eyes   Tag your toe for all to see   DOA, RSVP      There ain't no two ways about it   There ain't no two ways about it   There ain't no two ways about it   You're gonna die!      And when you swallow a handful of someone else's pills   Just remember everybody who told you suicide kills      But you took a little more valium . . . you took a little more speed   You took a little more Darvon . . . but you never took heed   You took a little getting used to . . . with everything you were on   And now I'm getting used to the fact that you're gone!      Cross your arms and lay to rest   I'll lay lillies on your chest   Shake my head at your disgrace   While they throw dirt on your face      There ain't no two ways about it   There ain't no two ways about it   There ain't no two ways about it   You're gonna die!      There ain't no two ways about it   No two ways about it   No two ways about it   You're gonna die!