One, two, buckle my shoe...   Ah you know I've never really been that good with friends   I'll only let you in when I can see the end   I don't call back I'm never late   I talk like I'm fillin' holes or cake   It ain't that I don't like you you're just better off alone      You just don't wanna get too close to this guy   He'll pick at you like the raisins in a pie   If you got regular size feet   And your aftershave smells sweet   Keep your distance boy, it's curlin' up my toes      Like an arthouse movie or 50 dollar wine   I just miss the point every single time   But you just don't do it for me friend   And I just don't think I like the way this is gonna end      Did you notice how my eyes looked all around   When the talk turns back to you and how you found   That everything that you hold dear   Your prostate gland and your career   I'm listenin' just don't mess in my good ear      Like pawn shop furniture or arrowroot biscuits   I'm cheap and I'm everywhere and I'm good for five minutes   But you just don't do it for me friend   And I just don't think I like the way this is gonna end   Ah you just don't do it for me friend      I was there back row an empty show   You've dumped your band and you went an' gone solo   You sung so great but some notes hurt   You wiped the floor and you left no dirt   They loved you baby from the high C's to the pleats right in your skirt.      I met your pals and we made some tentative plans   For singing and drinking and buying new corduroy pants   You're the kick in the pants I just didn't expect   You're the playful strangle around the neck   You sure can't do it for me madame   You sure can't do it for me madame      Ah you know I've never really been that good with friends   But you sure can't do it for me madame   Ah you sure can't do it for me madame   Goddamn!