Once there was a man   And so I am told   That he could swallow the dirt   Then shit into gold   With a wave of his hand   And the wink of an eye   He turned raindrops to   Diamonds in the sky      But whatever he did   No matter who he helped   He was unable to help himself   But whatever he did   No matter who he helped   He was unable to help himself   Who, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh      God played a trick,   So he looked up and he screamed   "Why can't the truth   Be the same as I dreamed?"   God played a joke,   So he looked up and he screamed   "Why can't all things   Be just as they seem?"       But whatever he did   No matter who he helped   He was unable to help himself   Whatever he did   No matter who he helped   He was unable to help himself   Who, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh