I had something to tell you   Something about me that I wanted to tell you 'cause I was scared   I remember all the good times we had   And how much you cared   And how I wouldn't risk it for the world      So I held it in   I pretended to be what you wanted   I wanted to tell you but you made it clear    How you felt, by things you said      So up went the walls and I shut myself in   Into the misery, the misery   I had no one to go to    I had no one else to go to   So I buried my secret nice and deep   And tried not to hate myself      Thanks a lot      Now I'm older and I know   You were the one who was supposed to show me   I could be anything that I wanted to be   But oh not that, not who I really was, who I really am      You know that every time you said those things, it came back down on me   It would haunt me in my nightmares and when I was awake   And I know you didn't plan on this   You thought it was best for me, and you were wrong   And you know that I still love you   But at the same time, when I recall my suffering, I hate you for this one thing