She says not to buy her flowers   Or big expensive gifts   She says she don't want jewlery   And she doesn't need another dress   If I want to show her how much I adore her   The best way that I've found   Is to make sure when I'm finished   I put that toilet seat down.      We've been to counseling   To try and see the ways we could improve   This thing between us   And different ways to show each other "I love you"    Forget about those getaway vacations   To romantic coastal towns   If you want to say "I love you"    Then put that toilet seat down.      'Cause in the middle of the night   It's cold and it's dark   And when I hear my name in vain   I know I haven't done my part   She just wants me to support her   And the best way that I've found   So with a gentle hand and a loving touch   I put that toilet seat down.      I know it's kind of funny    You can teach a little puppy   But it's very hard to train a grown man   When I'm all about my buisiness   And the path of least resistance   She's the one that suffers in the end.      In the middle of the night   It's cold and it's dark   And when I hear my name in vain   I know I haven't done my part   She just wants me to support her   And the best way that I've found   So with a gentle hand and a loving touch   I put that toilet seat down   Down, down...