I remember sayin' I don't care either way   Just as long as he or she is healthy I'm ok   Then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen   And said "Ya see that thing right there well ya know what that means"      And I started wondering who he was going to be   And I thought heaven help us if hes anything like me   He'll probably climb a tree to tall and ride hes bike to fast   End up every summer wearin something in a cast   Hes gonna throw a ball and break some glass in a window down the street   Hes gonna get in trouble oh hes gonna get in fights   Im gonna lose my temper and some sleep   It safe to say that im gonna get my pay back if hes anything like me      I can see him right now knees all skinned up   With a magnifying glass tryin to melt the Tonka truck   Wont he be a sight with his football helmet on   That'll be his first love til his first love comes along   He'll get his heart broke by the time hes in his teens   And heaven help him if hes anything like me      He'll probably stay out to late and drive his car to fast   Get a speeding ticket he'll pay for mowing grass   Hes gonna get caught skippin class and be ground for a week   Hes gonna get in trouble we're gonna get in fights   Im gonna lose my temper and some sleep   Its safe to say that im gonna get my pay back if hes anything like me      Hes gonna love me and hate me along the way   Years are gonna fly by I already dread the day   Hes gonna hug hes momma hes gonna shake my hand   Hes gonna act like he cant wait to leave   But as he drives out he'll cry hes eyes out   If hes anything like me,   There's worse folks to be like,   Aw he'll be alright if hes anything like me