I just want to tell you about Martin   Cos nobody I know has got a brother like him   As kids we could never be parted   The neighbours all knew us as the terrible twins   At school some kids were always looking for a fight   But Martin never wanted a fuss   Bigmouth Brown thought he'd push him around   Being three years older than us   So I smashed him in the mush with the cloakroom stool   I got six of the best and suspended from school      But it was worth it with a brother like Martin   It was worth it with a brother like him      We used to nick motors for a joyride   Till we rammed a Black Maria in this XJ6   To give Martin time to get clear   I tried to punch a few policemen before I got nicked   I got Borstal for taking and driving away   And beating up the boys in blue   But Martin never missed a single visiting day   He hitched from Clapham to Crewe   With all me racing mags and the little bits of news   Smuggling in ciggies and a little bit of booze      No-one ever had a brother like Martin   No-one ever had a brother like him      People get the wrong impression with Martin   I know he doesn't mix much but he's no snob   The weekend I got out of remand home   He'd got Uncle Ruby to find me this job   And back at my Nan's he'd repainted my room   And bought me a brand new carpet   There was all me old records and books on a shelf   And a secondhand telly from the market   You can get a bit hard when you've been inside   But I hugged the old bastard and I almost cried      Cos no-one ever had a brother like Martin   No-one ever had a brother like him