sittin' on a Friday all alone,   to the pub I dare to roam   I walked right in and took a seat,   cute drunk boy I long to meet   sat alone, no one bought me drinks,   I gave up 'cause Irish boys stink!   open the bottle, step inside,   pop open the cork and wave goodbye   to the stupid Irish boys who never get the chance   to know me, sweep me off my feet, or get into my pants   I'll come back one day with a real man   he'll kiss my lips and he'll hold my hand   he'll show me off so everyone knows,   kiss my ear and suck my toes   never puke on my shoes,   sing those sorry drunken tunes,   when we go out, he'll buy me drinks --   he's not Irish, Irish boys stink!   so in walks this cute lad,   decides to tell me how much beer he's had   sets me up to put me on my throne,   then decides to take me home   right as we get to the bed,   he's so drunk he's passed out dead   this is why I've come to think   those fuckin' Irish boys, they stink!