i've spent the past few months on pause   don't be alarmed, it's nothing more than something wrong   this nosey lady asked me why i failed   i said, actually, i never failed   i said lady, listen to me   don't pretend to get it, don't act like you see   don't pretend to understand, i know you don't   and don't tell me you'll help me, i know you won't   i said mom, i am sick of this   i'm tired of the lying, failing, crying shit   i am tired of the friends i have in my head   and i am tired of the way i use my bed   i said sir, you are a coward. i hate you   i'm tired of these walls, ill put my foot through   you're but a boy, a cheating coward and a liar   and i am tired of the obedience you buy her   when i close my eyes the world is lovely   until i remember she doesn't love me   and i when close my eyes the world is peaceful   but i dont sleep enough to escape this deep hole      and i'm tired   i am tired   i am tired   i am tired   and i'm starting again