I am a lovesick gentleman   Who pines and pines over the smallest things   Most of them are truly inconsequential   They are inconsequential things      So I'll write you the longest letter   Describing my feelings and all these stupid things   I'll cross my fingers that your heart melts   And you look at me and tell me "Darling, where have you been?"      I am an uncool Canadian kid   Awed and inspired by all the popular guys   Most of them are truly irresponsible   They do irresponsible things      But I'm just a heartbroke gentleman   And gentlemen never seem to get gentle women   I need a small town girl   To follow me home and teach me how to be a real man      I am a gentleman   An old school gentleman   A hold-the-door-for-you gentleman   A no good gentleman   A stupid, boring gentleman   A dumbstruck gentleman   A gentle, gentle, gentleman