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I'll sing you a story of silly young king
Who played with the world at the end of a string.
But he only loved one single thing --
And that was just a peanut-butter sandwich.

His scepter wand his royal gowns,
His regal throne and golden crowns
Were brown and sticky from the mounds
And drippings from each peanut-butter sandwich.

His subjects all were silly fools
For he had passed a royal rule
That all that they could learn in school
Was how to make a peanut-butter sandwich.

He would not eat his sovereign steak,
He scorned his soup and kingly cake,
And told his courtly cook to bake
An extra-sticky peanut-butter sandwich.

And then one day he took a bite
And started chewing with delight,
But found his mouth was stuck quite tight
From that last bite of peanut-butter sandwich.

His brother pulled, his sister pried,
The wizard pushed, his mother cried,
"My boy's committed suicide
From eating his last peanut-butter sandwich!"

The dentist came, and the royal doc.
The royal plumber banged and knocked,
But still those jaws stayed tightly locked.
Oh darn that sticky peanut-butter sandwich!

The carpenter, he tried with pliers,
The telephone man tried with wires,
The firemen, they tried with fire,
But couldn't melt that peanut-butter sandwich.

With ropes and pulleys, drills and coil,
With steam and lubricating oil --
For twenty years of tears and toil --
They fought that awful peanut-butter sandwich.

Then all his royal subjects came.
They hooked his jaws with grapplin' chains
And pulled both ways with might and main
Against that stubborn peanut-butter sandwich.

Each man and woman, girl and boy
Put down their ploughs and pots and toys
And pulled until kerack! Oh, joy --
They broke right through that peanut-butter sandwich.

A puff of dust, a screech, a squeak --
The kin's jaw opened with a creak.
And then in voice so faint and weak --
The first words that they heard him speak
Were, "How about a peanut-butter sandwich?"
I'll sing you a story of silly young king   Who played with the world at the end of a string.   But he only loved one single thing --   And that was just a peanut-butter sandwich.      His scepter wand his royal gowns,   His regal throne and golden crowns   Were brown and sticky from the mounds   And drippings from each peanut-butter sandwich.      His subjects all were silly fools   For he had passed a royal rule   That all that they could learn in school   Was how to make a peanut-butter sandwich.      He would not eat his sovereign steak,   He scorned his soup and kingly cake,   And told his courtly cook to bake   An extra-sticky peanut-butter sandwich.      And then one day he took a bite   And started chewing with delight,   But found his mouth was stuck quite tight   From that last bite of peanut-butter sandwich.      His brother pulled, his sister pried,   The wizard pushed, his mother cried,   "My boy's committed suicide   From eating his last peanut-butter sandwich!"      The dentist came, and the royal doc.   The royal plumber banged and knocked,   But still those jaws stayed tightly locked.   Oh darn that sticky peanut-butter sandwich!      The carpenter, he tried with pliers,   The telephone man tried with wires,   The firemen, they tried with fire,   But couldn't melt that peanut-butter sandwich.      With ropes and pulleys, drills and coil,   With steam and lubricating oil --   For twenty years of tears and toil --   They fought that awful peanut-butter sandwich.      Then all his royal subjects came.   They hooked his jaws with grapplin' chains   And pulled both ways with might and main   Against that stubborn peanut-butter sandwich.      Each man and woman, girl and boy   Put down their ploughs and pots and toys   And pulled until kerack! Oh, joy --   They broke right through that peanut-butter sandwich.      A puff of dust, a screech, a squeak --   The kin's jaw opened with a creak.   And then in voice so faint and weak --   The first words that they heard him speak   Were, "How about a peanut-butter sandwich?"