Thirteen Tons Of Ice Cream Lyrics by Shel Silverstein
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A ninety mile run
In the Florida sun
Can be a sticky situation
With thirteen tons of ice cream bars
And no refrigeration.

Well, I was loaded and locked
At the Tampa docks.
Miami was my destination.
With some coffee and an upper
I'll be home in time for supper
According to my calculation.
But those ice cream bars
In my 'frigeration car
Were too great a temptation.
So I pulled on over to the side of the road
And had me an ice cream celebration .

Then just outside of the Everglades
I got a strange sensation .
What was drippin' down my nose
Soakin' my clothes
Weren't no perspiration ?
'Cuz I must've forgot
And left the hatch unlocked.
Now I came to the realization
I got thirteen tons of ice cream bars
And no refrigeration .
'Cuz a ninety-mile run in the Florida sun
Can be a sticky situation
With thirteen tons of ice cream bars
And no refrigeration .

There was pralines and cream droppin' into my lap,
And that's a source of irritation.
And that Chunky-Monkey fillin' up the cab.
That can disturb a fellah's concentration.
That Cherry Jubilee
Right up to my knees
Can make a truckin' man's ruination
With thirteen tons of ice cream bars
And no refrigeration.

When I pull into Tampa you can damn well bet
There'll be a big investigation,
And under cross examination,
I'll deny all of the allegations.
Then me and the boss we're gonna have
One of them real short conversations.
Then he's gonna be advisin' me
To find a brand new occupation.
A ninety-mile run in the Florida sun
Can be a sticky situation
With thirteen tons of ice cream bars
And no refrigeration .

Well, I'm gonna tell him where he can STICK
His whole screwed-up organization
Then I'm gonna head right on down to the Union Hall
And apply for arbitration.
Then get me some fancy legal representation
And sue the whole God damn truckin' corporation
And win a BIG cash compensation
And then take a seven-month vacation
At some tropical location
With some uh... female stimulation
And do a little copulation
Out in the vegetation
And get a little inebriation goin'
Ohhh . . what a sweet sensation!
Lemme see now . . what flavor should I have . . .
Hmm-Hmmm . . . they're all running together
I believe this is a whole new kinda ice cream
Heee-hee-heee.. . . . .
A ninety mile run   In the Florida sun   Can be a sticky situation   With thirteen tons of ice cream bars   And no refrigeration.      Well, I was loaded and locked   At the Tampa docks.   Miami was my destination.   With some coffee and an upper    I'll be home in time for supper   According to my calculation.   But those ice cream bars    In my 'frigeration car   Were too great a temptation.   So I pulled on over to the side of the road   And had me an ice cream celebration .      Then just outside of the Everglades   I got a strange sensation .   What was drippin' down my nose    Soakin' my clothes   Weren't no perspiration ?   'Cuz I must've forgot    And left the hatch unlocked.   Now I came to the realization   I got thirteen tons of ice cream bars   And no refrigeration .   'Cuz a ninety-mile run in the Florida sun   Can be a sticky situation   With thirteen tons of ice cream bars   And no refrigeration .      There was pralines and cream droppin' into my lap,   And that's a source of irritation.   And that Chunky-Monkey fillin' up the cab.   That can disturb a fellah's concentration.   That Cherry Jubilee    Right up to my knees   Can make a truckin' man's ruination   With thirteen tons of ice cream bars   And no refrigeration.      When I pull into Tampa you can damn well bet   There'll be a big investigation,   And under cross examination,   I'll deny all of the allegations.   Then me and the boss we're gonna have   One of them real short conversations.   Then he's gonna be advisin' me   To find a brand new occupation.   A ninety-mile run in the Florida sun   Can be a sticky situation   With thirteen tons of ice cream bars   And no refrigeration .      Well, I'm gonna tell him where he can STICK    His whole screwed-up organization   Then I'm gonna head right on down to the Union Hall   And apply for arbitration.   Then get me some fancy legal representation   And sue the whole God damn truckin' corporation   And win a BIG cash compensation   And then take a seven-month vacation   At some tropical location   With some uh... female stimulation   And do a little copulation   Out in the vegetation   And get a little inebriation goin'   Ohhh . . what a sweet sensation!   Lemme see now . . what flavor should I have . . .    Hmm-Hmmm . . . they're all running together   I believe this is a whole new kinda ice cream   Heee-hee-heee.. . . . .