Justine was seventeen, I picked her up on the high-school green   she had a smile, I had a flask, she had a while before her next class   but she turned out to be crazy and she just wouldn't stop   she kept calling me, she kept following me   and her dad was a cop   if I hadn't've gave her my address   it wouldn't've been quite so bad   she turned out to be crazy, I turned out to be mad   Marie said she was twenty-three, but she didn't fool me   she'd stick her tongue in my ear, she'd say "c'mere,   will you buy my friends beer..."   she turned out to be crazy, it all happened so fast   before I knew we were saying "I do"   and now she owns half my ass   if I'd have only been thinking   we could've only got tattooed   she turned out to be crazy, I turned out to be screwed      Eleanor was thirty-four, she had a husband   she didn't want him anymore   she had a plan, she'd get in bed, she'd call him in,   and then I'd hit him on the head   but she turned out to be crazy, though she kept it well hid   and it turns out that to knock a guy out   you gotta hit him harder than I did   now he's pressing charges   they're back together and I'm out of luck   she turned out to be crazy, I turned out to be stuck.