(She don't use ) Jelly      I know a guy who   Goes to shows   He makes me coffee   He makes me toast   He don’t use butter   He don’t use cheese   He don’t use jelly   Or any of these   He uses vaseline   Vaseline   Vaseline   Vaseline   I know a guy who   Goes to shows   But when he’s at home and   Blows his nose   He don’t use tissues   Or his sleeves   He don’t use napkins   Or any of these   He uses magazines   Magazines   Magazines   Magazines   I know a girl who   Reminds me of Cher   She’s always changing   The colour of her hair   She don’t use nothing   From The store   She Likes to keep her hair / Real orange   She uses tangerines   Tangerines   Tangerines   Tangerines