On the good ship Venus   By Christ you should have seen us   The figurehead was a whore in bed   Sucking a dead man's penis      The captain's name was Lugger   By Christ he was a bugger   He wasn't fit to shovel shit   From one ship to another      And the second mate was Andy   By Christ he had a dandy   Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock   For cumming in the brandy      The third mate's name was Morgan   By God he was a gorgon   From half past eight he played till late   Upon the captain's organ      The captain's wife was Mabel   And by God was she able   To give the crew their daily screw   Upon the galley table      The captain's daughter Charlotte   Was born and bred a harlot   Her thighs at night were lily white   By morning they were scarlet      The cabin boy was Kipper   By Christ he was a nipper   He stuffed his ass with broken glass   And circumcised the skipper      The captain's lovely daughter   Liked swimming in the water   Delighted squeals came when some eels   Found her sexual quarters      The cook his name was Freeman   And he was a dirty demon   And he fed the crew on menstrual stew   And hymens fried in semen      And the ship's dog was called Rover   And we turned the poor thing over   And ground and ground that faithful hound   From Teneriff to Dover      When we reached our station   Through skillful navigation   The ship got sunk in a wave of spunk   From too much fornication      On the good ship Venus   By Christ you should have seen us   The figurehead was a whore in bed   Sucking a dead man's penis