You said "send me stationary to make me horny"   So I always write you letters in multicolours   Decorating envelopes for foreplay   Damn extended metaphors, I get carried away   On the back of a natural disaster, fixed with parcel tape and with kids sticking plasters   Nothing says "I miss you" quite like war poetry you carved in your door with a Stanley knife      My year in lists   Stomping on your fingers as you're clinging on to the abyss   So put on every winter coat that you've owned since '98   And every midnight sees the countdown to another awful day      I cherish with fondness the day (before) I met you   I cherish with fondness the day (before) I met you   I cherish with fondness the day (before) I met you      On your request, I compile a list   Of my top five resolutions for this year (one!)   I declined 'cause I decided that I (two!)   Do not believe in the new year anymore (three!)    And you must confess that at times like these   Hopefulness is tantamount to hopelessness (four!)   And I accept that it's time for a change but not in   Places like this with people like these (five! five! five! five! five!)      My year in lists   Stomping on your fingers as you're clinging on to the abyss   So put on every winter coat that you've owned since '98   And every midnight sees the countdown to another awful day      I cherish with fondness the day (before) I met you   I cherish with fondness the day (before) I met you   I cherish with fondness the day (before) I met you