Frolicking in the fields one fine day   When I saw a young man coming my way   He said "gimme your gold, don't make me beg"   So I pushed him over and I broke his leg      "You sneaky little bastard!" He did scream   And at that moment I felt something in me spleen   "I'll ruin your life, I guarantee!"   Turns out he gave me leprosy      I'm a leprechaun with leprosy   Nature's taken the best of me   Fiddily-eye-tye, tee-tiddily-eye torn   I’m a leper leprechaun      Thought it was a joke, just a bit of a yarn   Until I woke up and I had lost me arm   I looked on the ground and saw me four leaf clover   I had no legs so I couldn't bend over      I needed some luck and I needed it bad   I went to go check what limbs I still had   And at that time I heard a knock at the door   It was the same man as before      "I've come back to steal your gold!"   I tried to grab me pot but I had no hands to hold   He laughed in me face and he gave me some porn   "You'll need this" he says   "Cause no one will ever love a leper leprechaun"      I got real sick and all the other leprechauns began to laugh and scoff   I went to the pub to get real drunk   And me other arm fell off   I tried to drown me sorrows in a pint of Guinness   But I had no tongue   So I had to try and drink it with my penis      Got a leg in Dublin and an arm in bray   I lost me ear in Galway Bay   And in Wicklow I lost my elbow   And in Limerick I lost me... finger