oh yes i wanna be a lawyer   so justice will bow down to me   you say you got hit by a car   well sue the whole car industry   i gotta make me a buck   fuck that i gotta make me a million   were gonna drag this whole thing out   and make the taxpayer foot the bill         legal system casualties   are usually regular people   the plaintif and defendant lose   the lawyers win and winner takes all         you say you missed the bus   so you were late and you lost your job   i smell a big one here   youll never have to work again   no we wont settle out of court   were gonna hit em for the pain and suffering   were gonna send you to my shrink   wholl say youve got emotional scars         legal system casualties   are usually regular people   the plaintif and defendant lose   the lawyers win and winner takes all         oh yes i wanna be a lawyer   its really what i wanna be   rather be a dick than a pussy   a lawyers the life for me            this brief is way too thin   lets supoena a hundred witnesses   no they didnt have to be there   they just gotta be experts at something   well wipe the calendar clean   just write lawsuit on the whole damn thing   forget about my fee for now   you can pay me when i win         tell me how these fucking jerks   are worth two hundred dollars an hour   pack my ass to harvard law school   im doing that from now on         oh yes i wanna be a lawyer   its really what i wanna be   rather be a dick than a pussy   a lawyers the life for me