this would be a good song if i loved just one girl   but there's kelly, and there's mary, and i want to give each one the world   this could be a love song if i'd make up my mind   mary's fresh and kelly's so damn fly (here's why)      kelly's so cute when she's angry with me   but mary's never mad - she smiles and smiles   but she also snorts when she laughts      Chorus   kelly & mary are two girls that i love   given these two diamonds how can i choose one?   if this goes on and on   kelly & mary will be gone      this would be a slow jam if i was gettin any game   but i figure they're starting to reazlie things arent the same   this could be a rap song if i knew how to play my cards   but keeping two girls happy is so hard (here's why)      mary, she laughs hysterically when jaywalking city streets   kelly, she works at the dairy queen - free ice cream      Chorus      gone, drifting along, leaving me with a sad song   and when they finally find a guy to treat them right   ill be home alone that night      i said that this would be a good song if i hadnt done things wrong   but there's kelly, and there's mary, and they're both gone      Chorus x 2