When I Was Delivered, I Cleared My Nostrils And Spanked My Own Ass    Later That Day, I Invented A Silicone Based Protein That Cured The World    Hunger And Brought About World Peace    I Owed A Multi Billion Dollar Corporation By The Time I Was Six    And You Can Too       I Won The Nashville Chili Cook Off    Home On The Prairie, Mother Fucker    Big Trucks And Little Women, I Take 'Em Skinny Dipping    You Want The Life I'm Living, Who The Fuck You Kidding    I Circumcised Myself With My Bare Hands    Grizzly Adams, Mother Bitches       Don't Need An Elevator, I'll Take The Stairs    I Wrestle Alligators, I Ain't No Square    I Don't Need Toilet Paper, I'll Use My Hands    And Wipe 'Em On Your Face, 'Cause I'm The Man       I Once Slapped A Guy So Hard His Mom Lit On Fire    And That Bitch Lives In Alaska    You Figure It Out    So You See, My Little Bitches    If You Buy One Minute And 48 Second Seminar    You Too Could Become The Champion Of The World    I'm Joking, You're A Loser       When I Take Off My Shirt Even Old Ladies Flock To Me    I'm Like Don Johnson, You Fucks    Don't Need An Elevator, I'll Take The Stairs    I Wrestle Alligators, I Ain't No Square    I Don't Need Toilet Paper, I'll Use My Hands    And Wipe 'Em On Your Face 'Cause I'm The Man       Champ-pion, Champ-pion, Champ-pion    Champion Of The World       Champ-pion, Champ-pion, Champ-pion    Champion Of The World       Champ-pion, Champ-pion, Champ-pion    Champion Of The World       Champ-pion, Champ-pion, Champ-pion    I'm The Champ, You're The Peon