She'll have another piece of pie   She'll have a double reuben rye   She works hard at eating well   That's why I love her      She's got a couple of pony kegs   Her arms are bigger than my legs   And when she holds me I can't breathe   That's why I love her      I'm her butter she's my bread   She's like a mobile waterbed   And when I got on top of her   I can't touch the mattress      And when her flesh begins to sag   She's like a human sleeping bag   I feel so cozy, safe and warm   She's my insulation      I always know where she sat   And when she's on me I get flat   Some broken ribs a punctured lung   That's why I love her      She's my Phillie I'm her Stud   Her bean is bigger than my pud   It's like feeding a tic-tac to a whale   That's why I love her