This here's the story of the Buff Medways   Of how they restored rock and roll to the world's airwaves   'Cause you might have heard history and got it all wrong   And this here misconception's the reason for this song   I've been playing rock and roll for going on thirty years   Some call it punk but I only listen to the cheers   And many a popstar's tipped his hat at our faction   But not one of those squares has given us a piece of the action   From Kurt Cobain to Jackie White   They've all revered us from their great height   Now we're grateful for crumbs that may fall from the table   But we haven't been crushed yet -- therein lies the fable      I was once Tracy Emin's trusted friend   But when she became famous, she said it all must end   And Kylie Minogue even quoted my poetry   Til she found out that I'd been derogatory   You'd have thought John Peel would have been our friend   But there was only silence from his end   You'd think there'd some money, but I tell you as such   The labels and the clubs are as tight as the Dutch   I was asked to appear on Celebrity Big Brother   But only because I'd been some two-bit artist's lover   The New York Times called me the king of garage rock   But that's before The Stripes half-inched the bleedin' lot      We're named after a chicken that's extinct   We're the last of the Buff Medway's and I'm sure you think   That never in the history of the world was there a finer band   I'm Mr. Wild Billy Childish and I'm your man      (Bugger the Buffs)   We've gotten off   (Bugger the Buffs)   Provided some of the finest rock and roll   (Bugger the Buffs)   To all and sundry   (Bugger the Buffs)   Shake your tambourine   (Bugger the Buffs)   Play your guitar so crazy   (Bugger the Buffs)   By God the Buffs   (Bugger the Buffs)   Ai-sha-co-co   (Bugger the Buffs)   Shake your maracas too   (Bugger the Buffs)   Mmm, that's nice