Well, I woke up in the morning   There's frogs inside my socks   Your mama, she's a-hidin'   Inside the icebox   Your daddy walks in wearin'   A Napoleon Bonaparte mask   Then you ask why I don't live here   Honey, do you have to ask?      Well, I go to pet your monkey   I get a face full of claws   I ask who's in the fireplace   And you tell me Santa Claus   The milkman comes in   He's wearing a derby hat   Then you ask why I don't live here   Honey, how come you have to ask me that?      Well, I asked for something to eat   I'm hungry as a hog   So I get brown rice, seaweed   And a dirty hot dog   I've got a hole   Where my stomach disappeared   Then you ask why I don't live here   Honey, I gotta think you're really weird.      Your grandpa's cane   It turns into a sword   Your grandma prays to pictures   That are pasted on a board   Everything inside my pockets   Your uncle steals   Then you ask why I don't live here   Honey, I can't believe that you're for real.      Well, there's fist fights in the kitchen   They're enough to make me cry   The mailman comes in   Even he's gotta take a side   Even the butler   He's got something to prove   Then you ask why I don't live here   Honey, how come you don't move?