Call the girls and dress up fine   Tonight I felt like suicide   Roll them dice and pour the wine   Shuffle them cards and deal them fine   Got nobody to kiss tonight   Nothing to lose but my appetite      Wanna be silly and sing and shout   Gotta get legless and fall about   Turn the music up nice and loud   Cheer me up don't bring me down   Gonna lose my job next week   Getting replaced by a silicone chip      I might have been a hero   But I chose to stay in bed   I might have been prime minister   but right now honey I'm better off dead      I might have been a hero   But I chose to stay in bed   I might have been prime minister   but right now honey I'm better off dead      Don't like the scenery don't like the set   Tear it all down and start again   Man keeps talking on the radio   Telling me what I don't wanna know   Radiation wars and layatril   If tax don't get ya then cancer will      I might have been a hero   But I chose to stay in bed   I might have been prime minister   but right now honey I'm better off dead      I might have been a hero   But I chose to stay in bed   I might have been prime minister   but right now honey I'm better off dead      Better off dead, better off dead   Better off dead, better off dead