Eagle, buzzard, sparrow, crow, take me down where the winds don't blow...      I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem and a jealous ol' man in jail. I want one so ugly she'll crack a mirror and so fat she'll knock a needle off a scale. As long as she'll buy me a new Zebeco I don't care if she's built like a blue whale. I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem and a jealous ol' man in jail.      Lord she's ignorant but she's ugly. Yeah she's lazy but she's mean. I've been to two tent revivals and a chicken fight and I ain't never seen nothin' like when my little wildebeast tears into a dozen jelly-filled Krispy Kreams.      I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem and a jealous ol' man in jail. I want one so ugly she'll crack a mirror and so fat she'll knock a train off a rail. Hell, I don't care if she cheats on me as long as she sends me checks in the mail. I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem and a jealous ol' man in jail.      I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem and a jealous ol' man in jail.