Sitting in my favorite chair   I am waiting for a phone call   I’ve been waiting for years   Waiting in the dark I know   In my quiet living room   There lies a receipt from Sears   But wait there goes the phone it rings   I jump up and loudly sing   That you’ve finally come around   Now I’m screaming at the wall   It turns out you didn’t call   I’m all alone and you’ve found      In my home   You know that I’ll wait up for gnomes   This depressing romance   Fails to impress the man sitting in my pants   But I won’t cry   I’ll just sit around complaining and whine   That none of this   Fits in with my true holly wood story      Sitting there I feel so crazed   Knowing that you’d be amazed   At all of the progress I’ve made   I don’t want to look a prick   Even though you make me sick   With all of the therapists I’ve paid   And I don’t think I need to say   You know that you’ve made me pay   For all the worry I’d bring   And even though you’ve made me mad   There’s no way you’d make me sad   Jumping every time that phone rings