It says here that the unions will never learn   It says here that the economy is on the upturn   And it says here we should be proud   That we are free   And our free press reflects our democracy      Those braying voices on the right of the house   Are echoed down the street of shame   Where politics mix with bingo and tits   In a strictly money and numbers game      Where they offer you a feature   On stockings and suspenders   Next to a call for stiffer penalties for sex offenders      It says here that this year's prince is born   It says here do you ever wish   That you were better informed   And it says here that we can only stop the rot   With a large dose of law and order   And a touch of the short sharp shock      If this does not reflect you view you should understand   That those who own the papers also own this land   And they'd rather you believe   In coronation street capers   In the war of circulation, it sells newspapers   Could it be an infringement   Of the freedom of the press   To print pictures of women in states of undress      When you wake up to the fact   That you paper is tory   Just remember, there are two sides to every story