(Bill Anderson)      I'm gettin' up when my next door neighbor's   Turnin' off the late show and hittin' the hay   I've got to sign on the radio station   I'm what's known as a country D.J.      Nothin' in the house but some instant coffee   Doughnuts left from early yesterday   Ain't exactly what you call a gourmet breakfast   But rich boys don't play country D.J.      Earphones, microphones, telephones   Backbones just about to break now any day   Phonographs, photographs, autographs   Belly laughs, epitaphs, sure gettin' written this way.      Lord have mercy on a country D.J.      Two fan letters in my box this mornin'   One from the boss says cut down the gab   Woman wrote in and asked for a song   For another woman's husband drivin' a cab.      News machine must've run out of paper   Last thing I have is the midnight report   Weather forecast says warm and sunny   Funny it was snowin' when I came in the door.      Earphones, microphones, telephones   Backbones just about to break now any day   Phonographs, photographs, autographs   Belly laughs, epitaphs, sure gettin' written this way.      Lord have mercy on a country D.J.      Another discjockey taught me the business   Showed me how to talk and the things to do   Poor ol' boy passed away last Monday   Old age got him at the age of 22.      Thirty more seconds and the fiddles start playin'   Turntable's ready got my records at hand   I still get a thrill every mornin' when I tell 'em   Howdy there friends out in the radio land.      Earphones microphones, telephones   Backbones just about to break now any day   Phonographs, photographs, autographs   Belly laughs, epitaphs, sure gettin' written this way.      Lord have mercy on a country D.J.      Are you sure that Ralph Emery   And Charlie Douglas got started this way   I tell you I have to do everything around here   Sign on, sign off, pick up records.      Pick up trash. cut commercials   Cut the grass, carry out orders   Carry out garbage, answer to the boss   Answer the phone, good mornin' radio station.      No ma'm Porter Wagoner is not married to Dolly Parton   Thank you for calling   I tell you what I'm gonna get a real job   I'm gonna pump gas, that's where my money is   Anyway radio, boo on radio...