Let me introduce you to a cactus named High-Five    You won't find a kinder, gentler, nicer succulent alive   The only problem was he loved to give high-fives   And the needles on his hands were sharp as Oriental knives   All the animals would laugh as they walked by   And they'd make fun of him and kick up rocks and dust into his eyes   And even though the cowboy never joined in   He's just standin' there watchin' with some whiskey and a grin   After years of torment, poor High-Five gave up   He just stood there on the ranch collecting water in his gut   And then a dry spell hit the ranch for 7 years   And I bet you couldn't guess who came up sobbing and in tears...      Dear High-Five, we're sorry   And our well is dry   Dear High-Five, we're thirsty   To which High-Five replied....      Don't you cry   I'll let you take and eat my arm   If you can promise not to do me harm   I don't want my friends to starve   So go to the toolshed and bring the saw   Bring the whiskey and a rag that you want   You look parched so let's get this done   And so they praised High-Five, his sacrifice   Would save all of their lives...      (Kazoo solo)      And so they hacked up every inch of his left arm   And the animals and cowboy, they drank with disregard   And no sooner after all their tongues were wet   All the animals and cowboy started teasing him again   At this High-Five let out a bellow of a laugh   He said 'My friends, I'd hoped you'd all be less predictable than that   Cuz I made a pact with all the buzzards and the rats   If they'd feed me all the poison they could find in that there shack   There'd be plenty of twitching carcasses around   For I have poisoned all my juices to destroy this little town   Say your prayers as your eyesight fades away   And prepare to be the main course of a scavenger's buffet...