CUT THE CAKE   When I heard the news   I nearly lost my breath   My heart stopped   And I held my chest   How could it be true, how could it   be true?   I bought ten copies of the paper   Tried to buy them all   But they wouldn’t let me   How could it be true, how could it   be true?   Cut out the clip   And wallpapered my wall   I took it to work   To make copies so I could paper the   whole house   How could it be true, how could it   be true?   I scanned it too   So I could show it to my out-of-town   friends   I wrote a letter to the editor   To give praise and a mention   To the names they forgot   And the answers they didn’t question   And those answers they didn’t question   So what’s one to do   With all this fame and glory   Hire a PR firm   To tell the rest of the story   How could it be true, how could it   be true?   Write it down quick   So I can make the 4 o’clock news   I know it’s only local   But if it’s what they choose   We’ll celebrate over dinner,   Maybe dancing too   How could it be true, how could it   be true?      Who cut the cake?   Without any warning   Who cut the cake?   With my special knife   Into tiny little pieces for every fella’s wife