gray curtains, gray sky, so strange for july   the chains of hopelessness cling to me still   despite it all, burdened by my blessings of guilt   forced to remorse over what i cannot control      i want a drug without a name   i want a girl without a face   but its not what it seems, expression is so clean   the foreboding past still clings to me   i know morals and remorse   i understand more than words can explain   with all hate and violence   im enduring this marathon of despondence      up and down your spine, like a skeleton’s caress   you will feel the ivory touch of death   this paradigm, in all my deviance   acres of steel, disease, emptiness      all scorn and violence   in silent darkness   one fleeting breath of joy   it fills my lungs with hate   with ultimate conceit