You called me      -solipsistic-      It's erudite, it's      Somewhat sadistic      Cos there's no reply      That doesn't start with      "I…"                     You called me      -just ridiculous-      Look at you      So over-meticulous,      Set your sights      A hundred metres      High.                     And I do hope that you      Find a girl      In the pages of a       Good novel      And I hope she'll make you      Happier than me.      And I do hope that she's      So refined.      Hope it pans out for you      Line-by-line.      If it all buggers up you can       Turn back to page 19.                     You called me      -inconsistent-      You pulled me in and then      Let go instantly,      Saying, I have fallen for this      Many times       Before.                     Used to call me      -o delectable-      Now your esteem seems      Almost undetectable      And all we know       Is how to       criticise.                     And I do hope that you      Find a girl      In the pages of your       New novel      And I hope she'll make you      Happier than me.      And I do hope that she's      So refined.      Hope it pans out for you      Line-by-line.      If it all buggers up you can       Always turn back to Page 3.                     And I do hope that you      Find yourself      In the contents of a       Good bookshelf      If that's all that you need to be happy,      You'll do ok.      And I do hope I find      Some lost soul      To cast in the       Submissive role.      He can laugh and agree      With everything I say.                     Oh, you called me      -solipsistic-      It's erudite, but it's      Somewhat simplistic      And there's no reply      That doesn't start with      I      Don't      Think      You      Know      Me      Very      Well.