We fell in love down at the pier   You were sunbathing, I was around   Soon we were sharing a beer   We fell in love at the pier   I'm no sentimental slob so don't think I'm queer   You got something baby and it ain't just my beer   Well, maybe it's the hot pants, maybe the heat   Or was it the sneakers you kicked of your feet?      I sat under my umbrella to keep my pearly skin   You tanned your oily body looking like sin   Well, soon I was sweating and I wanted to leave   You slipped into the water from too much grease      Well, I saw you yelling. I just couldn't hear   So I screamed back at you "Honey keep the beer!"   We never consummated our outside love affair   Too much tar and water, too much hot air      Oh, what a tragic end to love that was lost   We would have stood a chance if we met in the frost, but   We fell in love down at pier   You were sunbathing, I was around   Now I go to beaches with my girlfriend   No more love splinters in my rear end