Every year I think I'm in the clear    I think I've outgrown the weakness the seasonal meekness   The sad result of this genetic default    Making eyes red and raw and my nose a fucking faucet   Spring has sprung yes and I'm a believer    In the beauty of new growth and the hell of hay fever   Take the potential of enjoying new nature    And trade it away into a pocket full of wet balled up toilet paper   In between sneezing reality rings true    Confronted with the fact that Mother Nature hates you   How dare she?!? That's what I ask   How dare she let me suffer after all I've done for her   Action groups, preservation societies   Who wants to save what they can't enjoy?   Cause while you're pitching your camp stall I'll be itching my eyeballs   Enjoying your lawn? I'll be downstairs with the fan and the humidifier on      Get down airborne bastard       I've tried them all Hydrasense Clariton Allegra Benedril Chloro-Tripilon   I've tried homeopathy giving up dairy    Please! These aren't remedies    I'd rather choke on my own snot than live a live without cheese   I don't even know what it is   Is it the pollen or the grass or the dust or the popular fluff falling?   I'm only happy when the rest of you blests are complaining   Yah I'm a downright smug son of a bitch when it raining   I'm tired of the pity or being bemoaned    I'm tired of people asking if I'm sick or if I'm stoned      Get down airborne bastard       I know it's not that simple there's a deeper reason    For the depth in our suffering the growing season   The world is reborn the flower the birds    It's all a humiliating twist of the knife   With the under the nose chafing the itching the aching    It's like you're allergic to life!   So think of us that's all I'm saying    When you're in the outside world inhaling   Think of the thousands pale and exhausted    Huddled around empty Kleenex boxes   And trust we are plotting revenge without limit    On the air that you breathe and all the shit in it      Get down airborne bastard