You know I love that organic cooking   I always ask for more   And they call me Mr Natural   On down to the health food store   I only eat good sea salt   White sugar don't touch my lips   And my friends is always begging me   To take them on macrobiotic trips   Yes, they are      Oh, but at night I stake out my strong box   That I keep under lock and key   And I take it off to my closet   Where nobody else can see   I open that door so slowly   Take a peek up north and south   Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie   And I pop it in my mouth      Yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr Natural   Just as healthy as I can be   But at night I'm a junk food junkie   Good lord have pity on me      Well, at lunchtime you can always find me   At the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar   Just sucking on my plain white yogurt   From my hand thrown pottery jar   And sippin' a little hand pressed cider   With a carrot stick for dessert   And wiping my face in a natural way   On the sleeve of my peasant shirt   Oh, yeah      Ah, but when that clock strikes midnight   And I'm all by myself   I work that combination on my secret hideaway shelf   And I pull out some Fritos corn chips   Dr Pepper and an ole Moon Pie   Then I sit back in glorious expectation   Of a genuine junk food high      Oh yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr Natural   Just as healthy as I can be   Oh, but at night I'm a junk food junkie   Good lord have pity on me      My friends down at the commune   They think I'm pretty neat   Oh, I don't know nothing about arts and crafts   But I give 'em all something to eat   I'm a friend to old Euell Gibbons   And I only eat home grown spice   I got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn   Filled up with my brown rice   Yes, I do      Oh, folks but lately I hae been spotted   With a Big Mac on my breath   Stumbling into a Colonel Sanders   With a face as white as death   I'm aftraid someday they'll find me   Just stretched out on my bed   With a handful of Pringles potato chips   And a Ding Dong by my head      In the daytime I'm Mr Natural   Just as healthy as I can be   But at night I'm a junk food junkie   Good lord have pity on me