Five beer bottles spinnin’ on the floor   I wake up with a girl I’ve never seen before   I’m starin’ at the ceiling tryin’ to remember her name   I’m sure she said it was Julie or maybe it was Jane      There were four beer bottles in the club last night   And I was blinded by the bottles, blinded by the lace   Can I buy you a drink and she said,   ‘‘Oh, that’s so, I’ll have a vodka and coke,   Make it a double’’      One, two, three, four, five bottles of beer   Five, six, seven, eight, nine months of fear   One, two, three, four, five bottles of beer   Five, six, seven, eight, nine months of fear      Three beer bottles and a taxi home   We were snoggin’ on the backseat   With the driver lookin’ on   She’s wearin’ too much make-up   But she’s a better hoped   But I’m Steven and lonely   My bed’s so cold      Two beer bottles   Underneath the sheets   Fumbling with brash drops   My pants round my feet      When it’s all over   I feel nothin’ at all   Just cold, just cold      One, two, three, four, five bottles of beer   Five, six, seven, eight, nine months of fear   One, two, three, four, five bottles of beer   Five, six, seven, eight, nine months of fear      Pregnancies, STDs – blame them all on the bottles   Pregnancies, STDs – blame them all on the bottles      One beer bottle spinnin’ on the floor   As she pulls on her clothes and walks to the door   I don’t know what to say,   I’m just lyin’ in my bed   So I say, ‘‘Goodbye, Julie’’   ‘‘My name is Jane,’’ she said