To Creed's "Arms Wide Open"   Well I opened my gift today,   To see which ones I can exchange   So I call K-Mart and begin to say   Tell the store I'm on my way   Are you still open?   It's just past midnight   Wanted a TV dish, not a singing fish   Please be open      To David Gray's "Babylon"   Friday night the office threw a Christmas party,   They invited me   I started eating rum balls,   It was the only food I had that night to eat   Chugged egg nog, Xeroxed my ass, peed on the couch   Kissed the boss's wife, threw up on myself, and got thrown out   Party on   Got my Christmas party on      To U2's "Beautiful Day"   I got cookies out,   Hung stockings by the tree   Left the front door open,   'Cause I don't have a chimney   I can't get to sleep   Drank hot milk,   Need something stronger   To calm me down,   I can't wait much longer   Christmas Day   I hope I get Playstation   Give me Pokemon and other things   Flood me with compact discs and diamond rings   Christmas day   Santa's on his was   Christmas day   Here's what I say   Christmas day   And I love Tina Fey   Christmas day   Toys are on it's way