my brother looked me dead in the face   said, "it's a god damned shame   what you became; the animal that you are   these days."      christopher,   i'm afraid that i became   what i was meant to be   all along      my mother looked me square in the eye   said, "son you will die   the way your father died;   drunk, alone, nobody by your side."      i said,   "i'm half-way there,   i just ain't dead yet."            mary, are you as happy as you say you are?