i've seen my father's ghost   but i've never seen my father's grave   i lost my heart and my mind   in the winter of nineteen eighty eight   it was a cold one   and it snowed like hell for nine months      the worst wasn't over, man, let me tell ya      my father was a boxer and he took his life   on the top of the building where he would fight   alright?   say alright.   and his eyes were lit up like the sky   in the middle of the night, on the fourth of july   when he said i was more handsome than jesus christ         we'll say goodbye   we'll say goodnight         he said,   "remember me as a man,   not a ghost,   the man that loved you the most, brian.   please remember me,   please remember me."            i saw the fear in his eyes when he passed.