Well, Scotsman clad in kilt,   left the bar one evenin' fair.   And one could tell by how he walked,    that he'd drunk more than his share.   He fumbled 'round until he could   no longer keep his feet,   then he stumbled off into the grass   to sleep beside the street.      Ring-ding-diddle-iddle-aye-dee-oh!   Ring-die-diddilee-aye-oh!      He stumbled off into the grass   to sleep beside the street.      -      About that time, two young and lovely   girls just happened by.   One says to the other   with a twinkle in her eye:   "See yon sleeping Scotsman   so strong and handsome built?   I wonder if it's true what they   don't wear beneath the kilt?"      Ring-ding-diddle-iddle-aye-dee-oh!   Ring-die-diddilee-aye-oh!      "I wonder if it's true what they   don't wear beneath the kilt?"      -      They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman   quiet as could be.   Lifted up his kilt about   an inch so they could see.   And there behold for them to view   beneath his Scottish skirt   Was nothing more than God   had graced him with upon his birth.      Ring-ding-diddle-iddle-aye-dee-oh!   Ring-die-diddilee-aye-oh!      Was nothing more than God   had graced him with upon his birth.      -      They marveled for a moment   then one said: "We must be gone.   Let's leave a present for our friend   before we move along."   As a gift, they left a blue silk ribbon   tied into a bow.   Around the bonny star the Scot's kilt   did lift and show.      Ring-ding-diddle-iddle-aye-dee-oh!   Ring-die-diddilee-aye-oh!      Around the bonny star the Scot's kilt   did lift and show.      -      Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call   and stumbled towards the trees.   Behind the bush, he lifts his kilt   and gawks at what he sees.   And in a startled voice, he says   to what's before his eyes:   "Well, lad, I don't know where you've been   but I see you've won first prize!"      Ring-ding-diddle-iddle-aye-dee-oh!   Ring-die-diddilee-aye-oh!      "Well, lad, I don't know where you've been   but I see you've won first prize!"