Some people may just generally lack confidence whilst other may have specific fears.



Everyone is afraid of something. It's normal to be worried about our wellbeing, whether it's physical, emotional or financial.

Is there a fear that is holding you back in life? Does this fear now, or has it ever, served a useful purpose in your life?

The reality is we have to act despite our fears, and this is the very best way to overcome fears and to increase self esteem and self confidence, although this can be easier said than done.

Avoiding fears has the opposite effect; it lowers self esteem, confidence and self respect, sometimes until it controls our lives

Whether it's specific fears or a general lack of confidence, increasing our self confidence can make a big difference to our lives, and we can learn strategies that will us more confident. We can also learn how to mentally prepare ourselves for uncomfortable situation. The more we can do this and see results, the more our confidence builds, and the more capable we will feel to tackle bigger and bigger challenges.

Doing things we are scared of and surprising ourselves with just how capable we really are is probably the very best way to build confidence. This may be a bit tricky as this means we have to face and overcome the things we are most scared of to increase our confidence. It can be a bit of a chicken and egg situation.

What can we do to be more confident in any situation? Consider some of these ideas:

Ask yourself what's the worst thing that could happen? Although this sounds negative, establishing the worst possible outcome to any action you fear taking can help enormously. Instead of mentally debating countless different outcomes, identify the worst one, and when clarified, more often than not, it won't be anywhere near as serious as you thought.

Silence your biggest critic and negative influence, the internal nagging voice that questions you and holds you back from trying new things and taking risks. We all have this internal voice and there are times it can be our greatest ally, but if we have low self esteem or confidence it can be our worst enemy, reinforcing our self doubts and stopping us from trying anything new. Try to block it out, or when you hear it, try changing they way it sounds so it sounds, like its inhaled helium, or sounds like a cartoon character and just laugh at it. This should make it hard to take it seriously.

Before taking the step you fear, take time to visualise yourself confidently doing it or having already completed it. Make this picture as vivid as possible - see it, hear it, even smell, touch and taste it if possible and FEEL how great it feels having done it. Give it emotion by concentrating on how great it will feel. This will make it so much easier to achieve as your subconscious mind can't tell the difference between something real and something strongly imagined.

If it's a particular new venture you're considering, learn from people who've done or are doing whatever it is you want to do. Do research and read everything you can. Success leaves clues, whatever it is you want to do you can be sure someone else has done something similar and written about it. Seek out this information as it will help to build your confidence.

If you need help or advice for a new endeavour, don't be afraid to ask for help. Most people like to help others and are often flattered to be asked, as you probably have been when asked for advice or help. Besides, who knows how you may be able to help them in the future?

If you don't yet have the character trait you want, or haven't yet achieved what you want, act as if you already have. This has been referred to as 'fake it until you make it', but it works and there are countless people who've developed confidence and become the type of person they wanted to be and found great success through this method.

The impact that lack of self confidence can have can vary from minor inconvenience to crippling immobilisation. Anyone can learn to be more confident if they really want to and are prepared to make the effort. Some people manage to increase their confidence by sheer determination. They face there fears and just do it. Others need some help, and there are many excellent books, audio program, and other methods such as meditation or hypnosis available that can dramatically increase self confidence. We all owe it to ourselves to do whatever we can to increase our self confidence, as it can open many doors and new opportunities that can enrich our lives in ways we may never have even considered.

'It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.'