Most managers will do almost anything to avoid having a "difficult conversation" with an employee, because they simply don't know how to do them!



Why? Well, most good leaders were promoted into management because they almost always did the right thing - without being told. They had initiative. They produced results.

Every manager in their career stumbles across a challenging employee....one who frustrates them and takes a lot of their energy to manage such as:-

• Someone with an "attitude"

• Doesn't work well with other members on the team

• Challenges everything

• Fail to meet expectations

• Great at some things and weak in others

• Attendance issues

• Fail to follow procedures

As anyone who has had to put up with difficult behaviour knows, it is not funny when a staff memeber causes problems at work, and the effects can ripple out, having a negative effect on relationships, productivity, and general staff welfare.

Managers fear that if they speak with employee they may react defensively or the issue seems minor and mentioning it could de-motivate the employee. The stress brought about by difficult behaviour at work can be serious. Many people lead pressured lives anyway, without the unnecessary stress of having to cope with the behaviour of someone who sapps our energy and enthusiasm.

The cost of disputes at work goes far beyond the direct impact on those involved. The trouble isn't necessarily the fact that conflict exists. It's the damage that it causes when conflicts aren't resolved. The impact of an ongoing dispute at work can be catastrophic to those in the dispute, but also to their colleagues and the business as a whole.

Difficult people exist in every organization and although your natural instinct maybe to ignore and avoid them, you do so at your peril. As a Manager you're not only responsible for your own success and job satisfaction but also that of your team. Challenging people should be a top management priority as they can adversely affect self-esteem, workplace happiness, business success and team member retention.

1. Create some notes around the behaviour or performance issue you find disturbing or challenging. This helps keep your focus especially if the employee gets defensive.

2. Sit down with the employee and find out how they feel about their job and do they have any concerns or issues they want to discuss.. Don't rush into your agenda, but rather be open to what they have to say. This open conversation can potentially eliminate a lot of stress for both of you.

3. State clearly the behaviour or performance issue you want to address with them and provide no more than three examples to support your concern. If they become defensive, listen to them for a while to see if there you can gather information to further understand how to support the employee. If they are rambling, bring them gently back to the issues and ask them what they think they need to do to correct the situation. Help them come up a suitable solution.

4. Follow Up! No matter what the outcome of the meeting, always follow up with the employee. If you need to provide further clarity for the employee, then do so. If the staff member has solved their problem, then acknowledge them. Let them know that you are available to help them with any of their concerns, your role as their manager is to support them.